Still in my pajamas, I was lazily wandering about The Oak House. As I was intentionally ignoring any news about the devastation that had just hit the land of Haiti, I reluctantly turned the on TV. Friends had been telling me about the destruction of the earthquake and, to be quite honest, I wasn't interested in hearing about it. I thought I already had enough on my plate to worry about with what I was doing here locally.
A report about Haiti came on the screen and that same deep unraveling that I had experienced only one other time in my life...the week of Katrina...began to happen. The only way I know how to describe that feeling is that it is the overwhelming love of God advocating on behalf of a suffering people and asking me to be a voice.
I was undone. And then I was shocked at how quickly this story began to unfold. Within a few hours I had learned that Tracy Fears, Gayle Ligon, Alexis Willis and Melody Boggess were all experiencing their own interactions with the Father concerning Haiti. Those amazing women were sitting on ready to go help.
I hopped online that day wondering how in the world I would get to Haiti... I didn't know where to start! Then, the VERY FIRST status update in my Facebook feed was from Patrick Miles and it said, "if anyone is interested in going to Haiti, Score International is taking relief teams every week." My jaw dropped. I got the info, told the girls and we started picking out dates.
On Sunday, I talked to Erik Dine at Calvary Chapel. He really encouraged me to pray further into it. In his pastoral love, he was concerned about what we would see and experience and wanted to really be sure this was from the Father. I took his advice and that day Popa spoke to me something that I only now understand.
As I prayed, a verse from the Psalms surfaced in my spirit: "I will see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living."
That sounded ridiculous. I would have never described Haiti in such a manner! Yet, because my super good Popa has eyes that burn with restoration and redemption, I knew it was from Him.
So, at the beginning of March, 2010, we landed in Haiti dressed in matching red t-shirts with a group of about 100 other volunteers. Haiti looked like a warzone. Our group ended up at an orphanage close to the airport. We all set up our tents inside the orphanage grounds and it felt like a strange commune. We wondered how we were going to be able to help. There were so many volunteers, so many people trying to lead, and so much devastation.
My heart, which typically erupts with compassion, felt so uneasy. It felt like we were in the wrong place. I HATED IT. Something felt extremely wrong. Having traveled overseas before, and experienced third world culture, I had never felt this way. I wanted to go home. However, I knew I was supposed to be there. We had only spent one night at this orphanage and late the next morning there I was, in my tent, hiding from everyone.
I put my headphones on to block out the sounds around me and began to write. U2 came up on my playlist I had made for the trip. I was writing about how I felt like I was in the wrong place and how I couldn't get any resolve in my heart. The lyrics from U2's song overtook me, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." I wrote those lyrics out and I asked God...where are we supposed to be?
Just as I wrote that sentence, Melody unzipped my tent door and said that the five of us (out of so many people there) had been selected to leave because another orphanage needed help, BUT we had to have our tents broken down, our stuff packed and be on the bus in ten minutes.
I scrambled. We rushed. We stepped on the bus. We picked up more people at the airport. That afternoon we arrived at Maison Orphanage and it felt like we had found home. We landed in the midst of some of the most genuine women, men and children I have ever had the honor of meeting. Here we were, at an orphanage where all of the children were living and sleeping outside in tents, while these incredible nannies cared for them with amazing love and resilience! There was a huge white tent filled with all of the babies under twelve months old. It was so hot in there that we could only stay for short periods of time before the heat would begin to make us sick. The infants, laying beside each other, were so miserably hot and displaced. When one would finish crying another would begin.
The nannies LOVED the kids so well.
It was a serious recipe for tempers and impatience to brew, but not for these women. At each cry, they would pick up the baby, feed the baby, and read psalms over the baby. Then they would move on to the next child. Meanwhile, other ladies are outside hand washing clothes, carrying buckets of water, making dinner for kids and for us, teaching the older children in a pre-school that was behind the orphanage... I could go on and on with the demands upon them.
They were just so steady and loved so endlessly. The amazing thing too is that about every
hour they all gathered in the middle of the yard, sang hymns and all prayed out loud. I would have to say it was the most beautiful thing that has ever graced my ears. I would wake up to them singing. I would fall asleep to them singing. And when the cries of a baby would wake me up at 2am, I could hear them nurture the baby back to sleep.
So, I wanted to find a way to honor them. At an orphanage, it is so easy to be there, go straight to the cute little kids and ignore the caretakers. Actually, that's what most teams were doing. It reminded me a lot of working in the inner city. How volunteers typically go straight for the kids because the mothers intimidate us too much and we are afraid they don't want us around. Such judgments, or fear of judgment, keep people isolated and hinder real relational touch.
I approached Pierre (the director of the orphanage) and I told him I had a very "American" question to ask. He laughed and I went on to ask if he knew of a pizza place around town where we could get pizza's for these ladies. I wanted to give them tasty food and a night off from cooking and cleaning. And guess what? Domino's is in Haiti! So we went to the Domino's in Port au Prince only to find that it had collapsed during the quake. Pierre assured me there was one on the mountain nearby that we could go to. So he, myself, Melody and Tracy set out on a straight up pizza mission. During our drive he shared a lot with us about Haiti, before and after the quake...I could write a book about what I learned. But one of my favorite bits of information is that many of the ladies we were serving that night had never had pizza. In addition to the pizza, we bought beautiful flowers at a street market for each of the ladies. They were bright white and beautiful. We also bought each of them a soda and just to top it off Tracy picked up some Chips-Ahoy cookies!
We arrived back at the orphanage and set up the food. The caretakers gathered together and before we served them we told them why we were doing this. I told them not to feel guilty. I thought that they might think that the money could have gone to something else or to others. However, I reminded them of the story when the woman broke the expensive perfume at the feet of Jesus. The critics cried out that the perfume could have fed many of the poor...but Jesus made it clear that there is a time to be extravagant and crazy in our giving.
I explained to them that for that night that was the best way we could find to honor them. As I was giving my little pre-dinner talk I said to them, "You have amazed us. You love these children so well even with the deep grief you carry in your heart. I know that it is easy for groups to come in and only see the children, but we want you to know that you are not invisible to us. We see you and honor you."
As those words came off of my lips, they ERUPTED in applause...screaming and shouting with joy. We were all in shock and in tears. The ladies would not let go of their flowers. They held on to them tightly even as they ate. After they finished eating, they began clapping and shouting. Then they grabbed us and we all danced and shouted and clapped together non-stop.
And, so the tradition began to throw parties for the nannies upon each of our visits. That turned into taking the nannies on beach trips or to a local swimming pool when we visit. These are days they get to step out of survival mode and experience the joys of relationship, laughter and adventure. These are the days when we break the perfume of shared experience, restoring dignity and building friendship at the feet of our beautiful Jesus. From that first trip in March, we continue to return every 3-4 months to nurture our relationships with this beautiful community. We continue to take them on adventures and throw them parties. Rubble-Wear has come about as a way to help bring sustainability to the lives of the nannies. Many families in Chattanooga are now adopting children from Maison orphanage. Little did we realize that so many people's lives would be changed and that we would meet some of the dearest friends we will ever know.
To read stories from our many journeys check out our blog. For the story behind Rubble-Wear and to find out how to order it, go to our rubble-wear link. If you are interested in upcoming trips, visit our Oak Trips link located on our events page.
